g Bed fool. Maybe a bottle? In my wife’s early pregnancy, I naively thought that every newborn baby really needed it. After all, all they do is eat, poop, sleep, repeat. You don’t need a complicated device arsenal to handle that, right?
Wrong. Our first child was on the verge and although I did my best to escape the evil clutches of an industrial baby building. But our little New York apartment was full of weird stuff, Reader, I had snot. That is not a euphemism. But it̵7;s the real thing that you use to suck the mucus out of your child’s nose. I asked a friend with kids, “Really? Do I really need this? ”She showed me several parents recently, a look that said:“ Damn it, you really don’t know what you are doing. ”
I’m not just a person with snot. I was depressed to say that I had become overly aware of the Snoo.The Snoo is a $ 1,495 (£ 1,145) artificial intelligence-powered crib that uses algorithms to respond to babies who are limping and rocking. I went back to sleep. “You definitely need a Snoo,” some told me, “it’s a huge waste of money,” others said. It’s like Baby Gear’s Marmite. Much more expensive than hell
Although you may need a little more than a fool and a little bed to raise the kids. But you don’t need an AI-powered crib to be a good parent. In Finland, the happiest country in the world, new parents are sent home from the hospital with a cardboard box the government has set their babies to sleep on. (In the United States, which has some of the most difficult parents in the Western world, according to a 2016 education, you are sent home from the hospital with a large bill.) However, being an expectant parent means being spoiled. With ads that make you feel guilty about unnecessary spending money. For example, recently we received a pamphlet via a post to encourage us to store the newborn’s umbilical cord blood in a private bank in case she has symptoms that can be treated with her own stem cells. The chances of that happening are very small. But what if so? If you don’t cough, you’re not interested in your child’s life. The whole thing felt like a predatory and disgusting beast. This is especially true when cord blood should be donated to a state bank, where there is a greater chance that it can help someone.
It’s not just expensive cribs and weird blood banks that turn you around. But the advice for babies is endlessly contradicting. Stick to a strict routine or they’ll turn into monsters! Don’t stick to the schedule or it will become neurotic! If you let your kids cry out, they’ll become sociopaths who can’t make secure attachments! If you don’t let them cry out, they’ll never learn to be free!
In a hot second, I thought I should get myself into the baby advice business. It looks like a profitable career move. At one point, I decided to experiment with uterine sleep and patented one of my amazing techniques. Anyway, I got bored after playing the same song on my partner’s stomach for about five days before bed Then I thought I was going to teach my kids the schedule while she was still in the womb. That plan failed when I realized in such a horror that I was not sure I could remember all of my schedule. I have now decided that the best thing I can do to prepare for parenting is to try not to worry too much – and perhaps look at my schedule.
Arwa Mahdawi is a Guardian columnist.